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To put it mildly 2007 was a really crappy year for us, until about mid-December when it felt like the tides were beginning to turn. We got engaged, and I booked a flight to Arizona to start at Thunderbird and holy crap - I was going to get my MBA and get married the same year! And thus began 2008 for us with a great deal of hope that it would make up for how horrible 2006 and 2007 had been for us. New Years rang in TERRIBLY, however I came home from Thunderbird inspired, excited, and having booked a wedding venue without seeing it.
Overall, 2008 was a year of extremes. I was being treated miserably at my former job, in fact it wouldn't be a stretch to say I was being treated with hostility by a few people and by the time I left I had a seriously bruised ego, wondering what I had done to bring this on myself. The fact is that some people just suck and while I know I made some mistakes, I also know I did the very best I could and I deserved better. Layer on top of that the stress of classes that required about 45 hours a week and wedding planning and suddenly I found myself to be the crankiest person I knew. I was beginning to think 2008 was going to suck too. But Dave held my hand when I felt incredibly alone, and he dried my tears when I was frustrated beyond belief, and he ordered our cake tastings with enthusiasm and scheduled appointments like a super star. And next thing you knew, I was dancing on the chairs to "Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC in my wedding dress just like I'd always wanted.
2009 has a lot in store for us - one of my very best friends is having a baby, I get to see China, my husband will watch me graduate and then there's the excitement of all of the unknown. I'm beginning to think that maybe this shifting of tides will be slower and more gradual than maybe we both had wanted, but we have even more to celebrate about in 2009 than we did in 2008, and I hope that our ability to build on that will only grow.
Thanks to all our friends and family who made 2008 great, and who loved, helped and supported us through the insanity. If we could do all THAT in just one year, what else can we do??
Three and a half weeks ago, Dave and I decided to start our own little family, and we adopted this little guy
My Daddy called me late last night to ask about Dash's disease, and confirm that he had indeed been diagnosed with FIP. See, many years ago my Grandma died of a Peritonitis infection (the human version of course). On Thanksgiving Day. Daddy told me she always wanted a cat, but Grandpa preferred dogs. I like to think she has a kitten now - the best one we could have imagined.
We'll be burying Dash out back on Friday, where we buried our family's basset hound a number of years ago. And just when you thought Dash's story couldn't get weirder, our basset's name was Flash. So, Dash, Flash and Grandma - here's to you.
I emailed my Daddy to tell him I was going to stop by and pick up my veil from his house for my hair trial. He said:
"Not going to ask what a 'hair trial' is, but I'm sure its really important."
I think thats pretty much describes the entire wedding process from his perspective.
A very close friend of mine just told me that they are pregnant! I couldn't be happier for them, and I'd like to get them a nice congratulatory gift. Its far too early to buy them anything for the baby - that would be torturous to spend the next 7 months staring at cute baby clothes and accessories. She loves lotions, scents, bubble baths - anything specific for pregnancy that you recommend friends? Any particular clothing item, robe, cozy something, movie, snack that you loved/know someone who loved it?
Help me out, internet - I want to give her something she'll really love and use for hre pregnancy!
Just some random musings on a beautiful Friday morning:
A good way to make the county of clerks chuckle at you while you apply for your marriage license is to argue semantics with your attorney fiance in front of her. Nice work.
I haven't had Starbucks in who knows how long, and on the two block walk back to our cars we stopped at one on the way. I may have to start going to Starbucks regularly because this is the best coffee ever and its sugar and fat-free!
We had a really great trip to Maine last weekend. It was beautiful, relaxing, and fun. It was a blast to spend time with Dave's acapella friends, and they decided they must initiate us into the world of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" which is happening in a marathon session tomorow. I hear there's going to be pizza involved and I can't wait. Finally! I will know wtf they're talking about.
It's been a perfect morning. The weather outside is gorgeous, and it was great to spend the morning with Dave - every day should start like this one.
Our wedding is in just 29 days. Thats like, soon and stuff. Hm.
Dooce recently blogged a very polarizing post in which she ranted about why she is voting for Obama. I knew the comments would be explosive, but I had no idea that so many people would so vehemently believe that Obama is a socialist, or that McCain is a fundamentalist. Are they both parts of these - yes, they are. But I also believe that they are a little more middle of the road than that, and frankly I thought most Americans were more middle of the road as well.
I respect that people feel so very passionately about their candidates, but I think whats being lost in this election is that we are all interested in the same things: we all want a safer society for our children, an ever-improving healthcare system, an overall higher quality of life, freedoms to make our own choices, on and on. Whats different is how they are approached. We all want there to be fewer abortions: some people believe this is best achieved through education and prevention of unwanted pregnancy, others believe it should be outlawed. The problem is that some people's thinking stops there. Obama believes in improved welfare programs - but I wouldn't call it socialism. Even if he WERE a socialist - what makes a greater degree of socialism so bad? Let's look at Europe who has a variety of mixes of socialist elements. In Sweden, people truly believe that their citizens are their brothers and that a rising tide lifts all boats. They work much less, they stay home with their children much longer, and they are healthier than Americans. Everyone's so scared of socialist medicine but Americans pay more for their healthcare than anywhere in the world and they have the shortest life expectancy amongst developed countries. No one knows what socliasm even means - nevermind whether its good or bad!
Thats not to say I think we should turn to socialism, or even socialized medicine here. What it means is that I have a problem with the labels being thrown around without careful consideration. I dislike extremes in all forms, and I believe that we need to find a balance. People are furious that their tax dollars go to 'lazy' people on welfare. Certainly there are people who take advantage of our system. But every society has people who fall through the cracks, and we owe it to them as our fellow citizens - as fellow human beings to help those people get back on their feet. People say they would rather volunteer their money to those people, but the fact is that we require stronger organization than that so people know where to turn to for help. I agree more with McCain's views on free-market economy, but even he is going to pander to the lobbiests and none of his views will help the Doha round progress. Why aren't candidates talking about this? We're too busy tossing out labels at each other to understand that very few people are extremists, and frankly I'm tired of being called one based on my political party.
Mike: "I'm so busy today!"
Me: "I can tell, seeing as how you're on IM talking to me."
Mike: "I DO have priorities you know."
Me: "I get the sense you're starting to understand me"
What a weekend! My bridesmaids threw me a FABULOUS bridal shower this weekend. What a wonderful time! Family and friends were so generous, I have so many great things to fix up our home and start our new life together. Part of the decorations for the shower were baby pictures of me and Dave. Dave is the cutest little baby, and I really hope that someday when we have babies they look just like him. One of my bridesmaids asked him what he thought our babies would be like and he responded, very simply with "Tall and inattentive." The frightening part is just how true that is! For a glimpse of one of my baby photo favors made by my very talented best friend see here.
With all the fuss over the shower I totally forgot that yesterday was my birthday. I'm 27 now, and boy does that seem old. The odd numbers always seem older, I don't know why. My Daddy is taking me to see Batman on Thursday and I can't wait. Oh Christian Bale, how I swoon over you. Happy Birthday to me, indeed.
Finally, with all this talk of baby photos, in other non-related baby news congrats to Brian and Paige who are pregnant with their second child! What wonderful news!
This weekend is my bridal shower and I'm SO EXCITED to see all my favorite women in my life all at once. How amazing is that? Amazing. My sister, along with my bridesmaids, has put a tremendous amount of work into the shower. She did a great job working with everyone and simultaneously helping me with the wedding planning! It also has become apparent over the last few weeks we've spent together that we are, indeed, related. You see, my sister and I are so very different that sometimes it was hard to tell. Not that I didn't always love her, but sometimes I thought she was adopted. But then we have a conversation like this, and I know for sure - we are sisters:
Her: "So, I went up to Pirate and said - make me a milkshake, and.."
Me: "Wait. Pirate?"
Her: "Yeah. I call him that because he looks like a pirate."
Me: "What do you MEAN he looks like a pirate? Does he like wear an eyepatch or something? Bring a parakeet to work? Have a wooden leg?"
Her: "Nooooo silly. He looks like the Pirate from "Dodgeball", so I call him Pirate."
Me: "To his face?"
Her: "Uh, yeah! So anyway, I went up to him and said 'Pirate, make me a milkshake' and...."
I really hope that this blog post isn't over-sharing, but I really feel compelled to share this because it totally changed my perspective on a lot of things. I hope that you can relate.
In the last 6 months of frantic travel, work, schoolwork (currently at 40+ hours a week), and wedding planning life has been crazier for Dave and I than it has ever been. I think when people get that busy with so many juggling priorities relationships get less attention than they normally do. And thats not to say they're ignored or that there are major problems of any kind but simply that they fall somewhere in the top 5 of things going on on your life instead of the top 2. As a result, I've been - we've been, feeling a little distanced from each other. Let me be clear: we're not falling apart at the seams, we're just not spending the kind of quality time simply being with each other relaxing that we would normally like.
And last night, after I got back some exam scores that were good grades - no doubt they were good grades - but not what I had hoped for or expected based on the amount of time I'd invested in the courses I started to freak. out. Dave was at acapella, and I was just trying to slowly take one task at a time and get over being a little upset. I figured - let's make myself some dinner and just put homework aside for an hour. I started to pull out some meat for dinner - simple, right? WRONG. Its frozen into the ice cube tray. I patiently took everything out of the freezer and carefully removed the ziploc bag from being frozen into the ice tray only to spray ice all over the kitchen trying to put the tray back into the freezer. Okay! Not freaking out. Going to poor myself a drink. I pulled out my pitcher of lemonade and just swirled it to mix it up and somehow it sprayed all over me and the kitchen. Okay! Not freaking out. I cleaned it up and took a glass from the cabinet and dropped it on the floor. Okay! Still, not freaking out. I can't even make myself a freaking drink without it causing a huge debacle, but I'm not going to freak out. I open the freezer to get an ice cube and somehow half the freezer came crashing down. Now I'm freaking out. FREAKING. OUT. My life is in shambles, I have no time to myself or my friends or my fiance and on top of that none of it is paying off in my grades.
So I did what I normally never do. I called Dave to ask him to come home. I needed him to come home, and just be there with me and hold my shit together for me, because I could no longer do it myself. There must have been something in my voice, because as soon as I called him the first sentence out of his mouth was "I'm coming home." I immediately felt stupid. I spilled ice for crying out loud. You don't need to come home, its just ice. Also, I'm losing my brain. Allow me to demonstrate this through incoherent flipping out about school, wedding, work, and life. Dave stayed on the phone with me his entire drive all the way until he opened the door and walked into the kitchen. I have no idea what Dave showing up did - he didn't actively do anything. He didn't clean up the kitchen, he didn't do my homework for me he just showed up. And told me that he would always show up, and thats when I realized something.
Thats part of what this marriage thing is going to be all about. When I can't hold my shit together, when I'm losing my brain I know that I can count on Dave to drop everything to keep me together on my behalf, and to talk me down from the ledge. Its a very rare thing for me to throw my hands up in the air and say '"I can't do this. I need you here." That Dave could walk into my kitchen and just follow me around for 3 hours so I could get it together was amazing to me. Its not an easy thing to be able to talk to someone when they're irrational and emotional in the exact way that they need you to talk to them and this is just one of the many things that Dave does that lets me know that he's my perfect match.
I don't feel bad that I freaked out - I'm glad I finally lost my cool over the insanity that is happening right now. It demonstrated to me that when I'm at my wit's end, its all still going to be okay. And it closed that distance between us in an instant. I can't get through any of this alone, I can only get through it all with Dave following me as I walk in circles around the kitchen and living room venting about school. I know this won't be the only time that things are hard, but I do know that we'll always be able to at least be together.
