14 posts tagged “family”
I emailed my Daddy to tell him I was going to stop by and pick up my veil from his house for my hair trial. He said:
"Not going to ask what a 'hair trial' is, but I'm sure its really important."
I think thats pretty much describes the entire wedding process from his perspective.
This weekend is my bridal shower and I'm SO EXCITED to see all my favorite women in my life all at once. How amazing is that? Amazing. My sister, along with my bridesmaids, has put a tremendous amount of work into the shower. She did a great job working with everyone and simultaneously helping me with the wedding planning! It also has become apparent over the last few weeks we've spent together that we are, indeed, related. You see, my sister and I are so very different that sometimes it was hard to tell. Not that I didn't always love her, but sometimes I thought she was adopted. But then we have a conversation like this, and I know for sure - we are sisters:
Her: "So, I went up to Pirate and said - make me a milkshake, and.."
Me: "Wait. Pirate?"
Her: "Yeah. I call him that because he looks like a pirate."
Me: "What do you MEAN he looks like a pirate? Does he like wear an eyepatch or something? Bring a parakeet to work? Have a wooden leg?"
Her: "Nooooo silly. He looks like the Pirate from "Dodgeball", so I call him Pirate."
Me: "To his face?"
Her: "Uh, yeah! So anyway, I went up to him and said 'Pirate, make me a milkshake' and...."
Me: "How's the dog doing? Has Dad run over him in the driveway anymore?"
Brother: "He's doing fine. He's really lazy, he just lays around all day."
Me: "Dad, or the dog?"
This year we spent a wonderful Thanksgiving in State College with Dave's family. Its always an adventure and we enjoyed a weekend of endless eating, board games, and fun. In particular Dave's brother-in-law and I teamed up for a heated game of Pictionary during which it was revealed that have even more in common than we thought - it must be something about our personality types that attract that family. We were discussing this when Dave's Mom said that she had always known Dave would end up with me. In fact, at his high school graduation party when he was very much in love with a good friend of mine, she had pointed me out to everyone in his family saying "Thats the girl. Thats the girl Dave is going to marry."
Nearly 10 years later, she was completely, 100% right - as all Moms always are.
My cousin and his wife gave birthday on Monday to an amazing beautiful little boy they named Sam. And I'm totally, completely and 100% in love with this kid and all he's done so far is be born and sleep. He's amazing and perfect and freaking awesome. I wish I had the words to describe how happy I am for him and his wife, and how excited I am to get to watch Sam grow and learn and play but I don't. I went to visit him yesterday and spent about 45 minutes holding him while he slept. He's got super long fingers and lots of very blonde hair that comes to a point in his forehead. He opened his eyes while his Dad was getting some lessons in diaper changing and as cried briefly in discomfort. No one likes too much air whirling around down there I suppose. Listening to that cry made you want to lay down in the middle of the road to make him feel comfortable again. He's such an amazing gift, and I'm so glad he's here safe and sound. Welcome to the world Sam! I promise to read you lots of books, and teach you a love of James Bond and Ernest films just all the other crazies in our family. We're so happy you're here!
My sister tried to give me some comforting advice today and it went sorta like this:
"Well, like Dad says, good things happen to good people but you have to wait or something like that? Like good people get good things but patience is good and like waiting is good for you or if you wait and you're a good person, you know?"
"Do you mean to say, 'Good things come to those who wait?' "
"Yeah! Thats it. Or something."
Can you tell she, like, totally pays attention when Dad talks to her?
As I listened to the crunch of the shovel on dirt tonight as my step-mom and Dad dug the hole for our family dog's grave I felt like my life at 16 and my life at 26 were colliding into one giant mess in my chest. Everything seemed the same, but everything is completely and totally different. In fact, things couldn't be more different, and I never expected my life at 26 to be so radically far from my life at 16 in all the wrong ways. I stared at the house I grew up in, and it looks so familiar. But its devoid of everything that made it the home I remember. I'm together with my parents as I will always remember it, but now they're separated and everything's the same and everything's not the same.
We lowered Goblin into the ground and stared silently at the dark hole, and thought about what a great puppy he was. He used to jump over the back of the couch light as a feather. He loved when I walked him because I gave him treats after every single walk and not just the ones at the beginning and end of the day. Daddy casually asked Jane how old he was, and we do the math and figure out he was 84 in "people years." The same age Grandpa was when he died last year. And today is in fact, three days from the anniversary of my Grandpa's death. Daddy says he thinks they planned it, a giant scheme to fool us all. It would be so like them.
We start to cover his grave and Daddy turns to Jane and says, "You better show your face around here again in a few weeks. The neighbors will start to wonder, 'Hey, we haven't seen Jane in awhile...and Tom was digging a giant hole in the back yard..' and then the cops will be at my door." We burst into genuine laughter. A few minutes later my Dad notices that the label on the box Goblin is in says "JANE" on it in giant letters. "Does that have your NAME on it? I'm so getting arrested."
It was then that I realized, that its not the things that make my life feel like its falling apart that are making me strong. Its the ties to the people I love who are still here that are making me stronger. Only my family could possibly think that the dog and my grandfather colluded to DIE at the same age at the same time. Only my family could make real jokes out of digging a grave. The past 12 months have been extraordinarily trying for me. My grandfather died, my parents separated, Dave's struggled to find a job, and then - then, Goblin died. I've felt like the walls of my life have been crumbling around me. I've tried very hard to think of the silver lining in all this "he's in a happier place" etc. I have news for you folks. That stuff is just bullshit to make you feel better until you can genuinely come to terms with what you're dealing with. And there's nothing wrong with that. But I always knew it was just the facade that was hiding what I really felt. And what I really felt was anger. I realized tonight that what ties me to the ones I've lost is my sense of humor. The things Daddy said - I swore I heard them in Grandpa's voice. Thats exactly what he would have said. I can only hope that I can learn that from my Dad, so I can share that piece of my Grandpa with my kids. Its not about his "better place" but its about how we come together in his memory and laugh. Loudly.
At Grandpa's funeral, with our eyes full of tears my Dad, Jane and I found ourselves mangled together, enormously long limbs twisted uncomfortably in a strange, wet kind of group hug. Daddy then busts out with "Oh, he'd be laughing now to know he somehow got us all into this group hug." Yes. Indeed he would. And so would Goblin.
I wanted to be sure to share some beach photos with you, and I figured what better picture to post than the one of me and Grace the day before our birthdays. I call this hair-do my "beach look". Let's stick with that story. Grace is Dave's cousin and she and I have the same birthday (just..you know, one or two years apart...) and we have become good friends over the years. I had a great time at the beach with her a few weeks ago, and I made sure Dave got at least one picture of us. She sends me the best emails ever, and she's been telling me about her adventures in learning to play tennis - I'm so impressed at what an athlete she is. Happy Birthday Grace! I hope you have a good one!
One night this weekend I stayed up until 2am watching Cinderella. Feeling completely exhausted the next morning, since I'm old and can no longer stay up much past 11pm I realized that there was something very wrong with that. In retrospect, you would think that anyone watching Cinderella wouldn't be up past 8pm, and anyone staying up until 2am would be watching porn.
In other Cinderella news, did you know that movie came out in 1950? Me neither. Also - my favorite part is of course, the "Bibbity Boppity Boo" scene, but not just because its the best scene ever but also because it reminds me of my brother. Lee and I used to have these pink and blue glass wands wands filled with water that had glitter and stars floating in them. We would fast forward to that scene and dance and sing along with our wands, and when it was over we would rewind and do it again. For hours. In our feety pajamas.
What are some of your favorite holiday traditions?
Submitted by sami711.
My absolute favorite Christmas tradition is what my family does on Christmas Eve. One year my step-mom had been planning such a huge Christmas dinner that when Christmas Eve came around she had no plans on what to feed us. So my Dad quick came up with the idea to have a fire and roast hot dogs thinking it would not only entertain my brother and I, but also feed us. It was a little of the "We bought you an amazing gift, and your favorite part is the box" syndrome. All we talked about that year was how we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows for Christmas Eve, and of course the next year we HAD to have it. It became our family's little Christmas Eve tradition, along with teasing my step-mom about the fact that her favorite way to eat her hot dog is to completely burn it and then bury it in every single condiment and coleslaw. And me asking every 30 seconds "Daddy, is my hot dog done yet?" I can't wait to pass this tradition on to my kids, even if its not the most traditional of traditions.
