6 posts tagged “people suck”

Step One: Get absorbed in a good book
Step Two: Turn on your speakerphone
Step Three: Call Comcast
Step Four: Spend three to five minutes sorting through menu options to tell them what is wrong.
Step Five: Read your book for 20 minutes waiting for someone to answer your call.
Step Six: When the timer on your phone clicks over to 20 minutes, watch Comcast hang up on you.
Step Seven: Repeat steps two through five
Step Eight: Fifteen minutes into your second call someone will answer, and ask you for all the information you gave them ten minutes ago through their automated system.  Spend another 2-3 minutes on hold while they look everything up
Step Nine: Their customer service rep will tell you that its just a service problem they've been having for TWO DAYS now and it should be fixed in another 24 hours.  Just try it again tomorrow night. Maybe.  You know, just pay for half a week of service you're not getting. Have a great night!
Step Ten: Go make yourself a bowl of ice cream. You deserve it as a reward for finishing half of a 300 page book, in addition for the self-control you exhibited in not reaching through the phone and strangling Comcast.

I betcha a dollar I get to do this again tomorrow when it still doesn't work.  Anyone?

Its been a long and frustrating week.  I'm really looking forward to Monday and that feeling of "starting anew."  Which is bizarre because Mondays suck.  Tonight just capped it all off.  A girl was supposed to come pick up a piece of furniture at 9pm.  I wasn't thrilled she chose 9pm to begin with, but she was working until 7pm and I just wanted to unload it so I agreed.  At 7:43pm she emailed me asking "Will this fit in the back seat of a small car?"  I wish I could say this is the dumbest question I've been asked about furniture yet, but unfortunately it isn't.  I digress, however.  First, if you wanted to know the measurements you should have asked that sometime during the entire "Making an appointment to pick up furniture" process.  Second, I have no idea how small your "small car" is - so a better question would have been to ask for the measurements.  Third, you're supposed to be AT MY HOUSE in an hour and 17 minutes to pick up said piece of furniture, are you just hoping I check my email sometime in the next 77 minutes and get back to you in time to..do what? Decide which car to take?  Take the bigger car.  But thats not really the problem, is it?  You just need to know if you need to cancel or not, and don't want to drive out here only to find out it doesn't fit. 

I obviously did not get this email before 9pm, so guess what time she showed up?  SHE DIDN'T.  Guess how many phone calls I got to ask this question, or change the time she was coming?  NONE.  I sent her an email saying it might fit if the seats go down, and I was expecting her 35 minutes ago and I hope that all is well.  I don't want to find out tomorrow she's dead in a ditch and thats why she's not here.  But odds are very good she's just a dumb bitch with no respect for anyone else's time.  I really hope she shows up soon so I can give her the finger through the window and not sell her a damn thing.

And as for the dumbest question I've been asked about the furniture?  "Does it look like it does in the picture?"  Actually, a picture is an image of what something LOOKS LIKE so I would say yes, yes it does look like it does in the picture.  But perhaps he thought I was lying and took a picture of something else.  Good thing he asked me that question, because now that he asked I'll be honest and say "Actually, its purple, falling apart and looks like crap.  Thats cool, right?"

I recently got the 'go-ahead' from my uncle to start trying to sell as much of the furniture from my grandfather's estate as possible.  I have been taking pictures, posting them on flickr and then posting the link at work, passing it in emails to anyone I knew and then finally, as a last resort, on craigslist.  By the way, if any of you are interested in the link, just leave me a comment and I will send it to you.

The result of posting something on craigslist is that you immediately come in contact with the masses.  And the masses are stupid.  Very, very stupid.  One girl emailed me asking to stop by on Saturday so just send her my address and she'll be there.  Are you kidding? One email and I just send you my address?  Do I look like someone who wants to be robbed at gunpoint?  I emailed her and asked her to call me and we could work out a time and I could give her directions then.  She never called.

Another girl actually got to the point of coming here to see some things.  She calls me and says "I'm here, is this your house?"  I walk outside to see a car with its lights on across the intersection from my street.  She never turned down my street just turned into the first driveway she saw when she got to our road.  Which is a lot like following the directions all the way to the end, except NOT.  Then, after spending half an hour in our house picking out two chairs she reveals to us that her only way to get it home is in her Honda Accord.  Guess how many lounge chairs fit in a Honda Accord?  Zero chairs.  Guess how many chairs she made us try to fit into her Honda Accord?  One.  Guess how many chairs she ended up buying?  Zero, because she has no way of taking them home.  That was an awesome way to spend an evening.

Then, we get to the girl who told me she wanted to purchase a number of things.  Fantastic.  We begin the process of working out when she can get her dad to drive his truck to our house.  I tell her Saturday or Sunday, in the morning is best, around 10am.  She emails me back and says "Sunday is the best day for me, but I showed my Dad the website and he said all the things I wanted were marked as sold.  Did you sell them to someone?"  Why yes, yes I did.  YOU.  So now that I know a day, could you tell me WHEN?  "Oh, I'm going to a bridal show with my sister at noon, so that should be over by 3."  Does that mean you'll be here at 3?  Or since you're coming from Philly 4?  Or is that just when its over and then you have to go home and you'll be here at 5?  What part of this is AROUND 10AM?  I know. I'll just sit around all day twiddling my thumbs while you enjoy your weekend and I'll just wait for you to show up.  No, no, I don't have a life.

We're MAYBE halfway through selling all this furniture.  Hopefully by the end of this weekend enough things will have been picked up that I can reach the other things and get rid of those in the next week.  I can't wait until I can stop dealing with these mother fucking morons who inhabit our planet.

An Open Letter to the 50-something guy at my gym who continues to get in my face and try to attract my attention while I'm trying to lift heavy things.

Dear Creepy Old Guy At The Gym,

If you would like to speak with me a "hello" would do just fine. Sarcastically talking about me loudly to someone else in an attempt to garner my attention will only result in me wanting to kick your ass.  Based on this, I have no desire to speak with you.  Please crawl back into the dark hole from whence you came.

xoxox
Lenni

P.S. Do you see that fancy use of "from whence" ?  I totally deserved that 97th percentile I got on my GMAT.  Me write good.

P.P.S I TOLD YOU SO GMAT. YOU SUCK.

Today, while driving home from my Dad's house Dave and I noticed a man standing in the middle of the road waving his arms frantically.  I immediately slowed down and put on my flashing lights assuming there was some kind of accident or emergency ahead.  The man comes up to our window and shoves his cell phone into my car and says "My friend is lost, can you tell him where we are?"  Dave wanted to say, "Fuck no!" and drive off, but since I was behind the wheel and I'm a nice person (read: gullible) I said "Sure, I can try.  But how about I pull over onto this side street, instead of staying stopped in the middle of a major road?"

So I pull over, hoping that whoever this man was giving directions to was smarter than he was.  This was my first mistake.  So I get on the phone and the man on the other end goes "Okay.  So, I'm at 891 French Street, and I'm trying to get to 750 French Street, but my GPS is telling me to turn here onto Hillside Road.  Do you know where that is? What should I do?"

Step One: Put down the doobie.
Step Two: Pull over to the side of the road
Step Three: Let the buzz wear off.
Step Four: Never have children. Ever.  The world doesn't need more stupid people.

I realized I've been blogging about my cat a lot recently.  I'm sorry people! I'm not normally THAT person, but really Boo does the funniest things.  And my life is that boring. But on to another topic.

As many of my close friends and family know, I've recently started a 90 day diet with my trainer with the goal of losing stored body fat.  It's hard.  It is really hard.  And its not hard in any of the ways I thought it would be hard.  It requires a lot of diligence and discipline.  Weekends are especially difficult because I feel like I should relax and let loose, and that always has included my diet in the past.  I have specific days where I can "cheat" so to speak, and the key to the diet is to NOT cheat on days I'm not allowed to.  This has definitely proven to be difficult.

But one aspect of the difficulty of my diet that I did not expect was the people around me.  I like to tell people I'm on a diet so that they can help me hold myself accountable.  I can't tell someone I'm on a diet and then eat a giant brownie in front of them.  The problem with this has been that most people think they know a tremendous amount about nutrition when in reality they know nearly nothing.  I fall squarely into that category of people who know nearly nothing.  But I'm learning.  And I'm not learning by watching the news or reading the internet.  I'm learning from a professional.  And I don't blame the general population for the complete lack of knowledge on nutrition - the media has made the most horrible things for you sound healthy.  Take, for example, bread.  Bread is loaded with labels that sound good for you.  "Whole Grain!"  "All Natural!"  Both of which mean very little.  I'm supposed to buy whole wheat bread without High Fructose Corn Syrup in it.  I challenge you to find this bread without picking up and reading the labels of at least 5 different brands.   Its amazing the foods that sound good that are not.  And the worst part is most people would rather believe that than listen to their common sense.  They'd rather justify eating Cocoa Puffs by seeing the "whole grain" label on it.  I think everyone in their right mind knows that there's no possible way Cocoa Puffs are good for you, but people buy into it anyway so they can continue to eat what they like and not feel guilty.  And this is what has been so hard - the psyche of the American public when it comes to health.

There's no secrets or tricks to most of what I'm doing.  I'm eating lots of lean meats and green vegetables, and I eat all day long.  But what has worked for me, may or may not work for someone else.  What my trainer has given me is specialized for exactly me.  I've been shocked by the women at my gym who have seen the subtle changes in my physique and want to know all the secret answers.  And then turn around and justify what they've eaten anyway, or why something won't work for them.  Or then try some crazy version of what I'm doing without consulting a professional and get sick.  Not to mention the women who have started talking about me behind my back.  This is the most shocking and difficult part of my experience so far.  Its been worse for the girl who did this right before me.  They spread rumors about her having eating disorders, and how it can't actually be healthy, and how can her husband let her look like that?  Its a shame that women can't see the accomplishments of their peers and be supportive and impressed.  They have to make excuses and bring that person down so they don't have to feel so guilty about the fact that they can't or won't put the hard work into doing it themselves.

This is what makes me the most angry.  Hey, no one is making or asking you to change your diet.  If you love your Cocoa Puffs and you are happy with your health then knock yourself out.  Eat a box every day for all I care.  In fact, I have a lot of admiration for someone who has acceptance for who they are and someone who takes responsibility for their lifestyle.  But don't come to make talking about how you want to be healthier and ask questions about why my diet is working and asking me to share what limited knowledge I do have about nutrition with you to then turn around and explain to me why I'm wrong and why Cocoa Puffs are perfectly healthy and really I'm the one who has eating problems.  Cocoa Puffs have whole grain in them! You need whole grain and fiber to digest your food properly!  You're probably sleeping with your trainer and not eating thats why you've lost 10 pounds!

This reaction probably sounds absurd to most of you - it did to me.  I wish I were exaggerating.  I'm dead serious that some people have responded in this way to both me and my colleague who did this right before me.  What a shame.  I'm thankful friends and family have been very supportive and asked all the right questions.  I'm always happy to talk  about what I'm doing and what I'm learning.   And thanks for not being offended when I've come to visit and couldn't eat some of the food you've prepared.  Here's to 60 days more of successful dieting - I couldn't have made it through the first 30 without you!